On being a new Ma

Moved to wordpress

2008-07-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

If you have me in your blogroll - please update the link - thanku :-)

http://kopili.wordpress.com

Carrying your Baby

2008-07-03T09:26:00.000-07:00

I love carrying N around whereever I go. Small walks our house in the nice warm summer months, long hikes up the Cascade mountains near Seattle, shopping in the mall.

Recently N outgrew her Baby Bjorn - we now carry her around in a baby back-pack. I miss her warm comfort and nuzzling - its not really the same carrying her in the back-pack. N does not seem to mind though - she looks around with as much curiosity and snoozes as happily as she used to in the Bjorn.

Here are some interesting pictures of how women around the world carry their babies. The black and white one is an American Indian woman carrying her baby in a Papoose. Then the one with the Llama - you guessed it - from Peru. And the colorful one from China. And then there is me and N in her backpack, and Ma with a much smaller N in her Baby Bjorn.

Heck, if these women can climb up and down hills and go about daily chores with their babies on their backs, surely, I can lug N around!

Stories from Botswana

2008-06-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

A while back, Appa pappa ( who else?) showed me a book with a strange title: "No.1 Ladies Detective Agency". Intrigued, I started reading it. I never imagined I would be hooked onto a story set in Botswana, about a lady detective - Mma Ramotswe - I dont even know how to say the Mma part, but i do know its the equivalent of Madam. Mma Ramotswe - the Botswana equivalent of Miss Marple - simple, with "Traditional" views - running the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, the only detective agency in whole of Botswana. And running it with all the commonsense and wordly wisdom one can imagine. What I loved about that book was the simplicity of the narrative and the storytelling, and the interweaving of Mma Ramotswe's personal and professional life.

So yesterday I picked up another of the series - called The Good Husband of Zebra Drive. Alexander McCall Smith has not let me down so far - his characters, the lead detective, her assistant, her husband Mr. JLB Maketoni - all these are so real and believable. I can substitute each of them with a person I know! He's really managed to bring Botswana to the readers, while keeping his characters so real that you can "see" them.

Keep it up, Mma Ramotswe!

Update to this post -thanks to lostonthestreet . Go here if you are interested in knowing how to say "Mma" or Madam in Setswana ( the language of Botswana).

Anoushka reads to N

2008-06-22T21:47:00.000-07:00

N's cousin sister Anoushka is visiting her. In Anoushka's words: " I like to read to N, play with her in the park with her new ball, put on her clothes, select her clothes for the day".

They are having tons of fun together. Its great to have Anoushka here, we wish she could stay with us longer.

The tag of 55

2008-06-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

“Lost on the street” tagged me on this where I have to continue the story that has been building up in not more than 55 words..

-------------------------

What happened so far.
“She wondered if she could ever count each of the twinkling stars in the night sky. The clock in the tower struck 9. She had to get back to reading her text book, ignoring the weird grumbling noises her stomach was making. The flickering orange street light looked like it would go put any minute.” [galadriel]
she considered her options. she cud complete reading before the light died on her. or she cud eat. or of course, she could attempt to count the stars. it was in the midst of this contemplation that her phone buzzed. books aside, hunger aside… she now focussed on the screen. should she answer… she wondered. [rayshma]
She decided to let it ring.. must be her mother calling to find out if she was alright. She was really tired of her mom checking on her four times every day! And then she heard it, a blood curdling scream filled the air. There were sounds of running feet ,followed by another shrill scream! [preethi]
She stood up to see where the sound had come from. It was a bratty toddler throwing a tantrum. The phone was still ringing shrilly. She picked it up. It was not her mother. “Hello”, said a voice from the other end. “Did you get my e-mail?” “Yes” she laughed. “I just finished reading it.” [DotThoughts]
“So?” her sister asked. “So what?” She replied giggling to herself. Her sister replied back annoyingly “You know what I’m talking about! So don’t pretend and be a tease.” “OK OK!” She laughed. “I think he’s nice. But you have met him personally so you will know better.” “Thank God!” her sister sighed with relief! [~nm]
Relieved that atleast she bothered to scan through the profile , instead of summarily dismissing them. It was a determined effort of the elder sister to see the younger one in bridal finery. She would airily dismiss the younger one’s concerns about the reality of marital bliss. Wasn’t her own perfect wedded life enough proof? [Lost on the street]
She thought back to their childhood days. Her sister had always tried to control her life, she sighed. Always thought she knew what was best for her kid sister. And things had not changed a bit, even though they were both now adults - her elder sister married with a little child, and she precipitously hanging onto the edge of bachelorhood.

I tag madmomma

Belated Bday post

2008-06-16T23:31:00.000-07:00

Been meaning to post this - the little sis wrote a senti post on my Bday. For me, her "Ba" - (means elder sister in Assamese). Check out her post here.

The Lone Wolf's Song: Poem

2008-06-15T00:54:00.000-07:00

White is the moon,
White is the snow,
White is the fur,
That glistens and glows.

White is the river,
White are the woods,
Whereupon, a lone wolf sings
A lone wolf song.

Sad with yearning,
The song mourns,
A million years
Of lonely white moons.

Deep are the desires
Strange is the night
While white moons haunt
Yet how lovely is the white.

White is the fur,
That glistens and glows,
White is the moon,
And white is the snow.

A day with Appa away & visa angsts

2008-06-10T00:54:00.000-07:00

Appapappa left for Vancouver to get his visa this morning - at the unearthly hour of 5. I was hoping the guy would miss me - instead he was busy eating the "best indian food" at the "best downtown location". Ok, ok - I should just let the poor guy have some fun. I do hope he comes back tomorrow, there seems to be a chance he may have to hang around there for 4-5 days to get his visa.

This entire visa process feels so derogatory sometimes - like begging somebody to let you into their door.

Me: "Please, please. Your house is so pretty and clean. Please let me in. I would like to be a slave here."
They: "Go away. Our house is only for nice pretty people. Who are you anyway"?
Me: "I live in the next block - err... ya, the slightly dirtly one with lots of people in it. Thats why I want to come into your neat and clean house and slave away."
They: " Umm.. okay. But what if you refuse to leave when you have finished slaving."
Me secretly thinking: I'll never finish slaving. But here's what I will say: "Of course i will leave. I will miss my mother and father and brother and sister and uncle and aunt .. and will leave. Now will you please let me in."
They: "Okay, but promise you will work all the time, you will say skedule when you mean schedule and you talk to me only by appointment".
Me: "Promise. Yippeee.. I get to be a slave in the clean big house"

And so on. You get the drift.

Video of N walking with her blanket

2008-06-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

N is walking - stumbling around from the fridge to the dining table to the TV - everywhere. And following her Ma and Deuta all around the house, including up the stairs. Here's a cute video of her carrying her favorite blanket around.

Air Travel with N - nice people exist

2008-05-27T23:30:00.000-07:00

Air travel has to rate as one of the most traumatic experiences for parents ( and baby too). It is a surefire recipe for disaster - enclosed space, no distractions, same scenery = wild cranky baby! At such times, it is so nice to actually meet co-passengers who are not shooting you arrows of disgust.

Today it was this youngish man, travelling to Seattle for work - N was howling her head off, but the guy was actually smiling at her - wow! I said to myself, either this guy has kids, or he is a really really nice guy. Then there was the good looking chap who was sitting next to us on our flight to Phoenix - this guy even played with N while she was sitting on my lap! Last, but not the least, the elderly Korean lady ( grandmom really) who came over and hummed lullabies to N on the flight back from India. She kept calling N "Harmoniga" - I can only assume it means something ( baby?) in Korean. But I was so touched by her kindness - walking over to talk and soothe somebody else's cranky baby? Not everybody will do it - but Hey! Nice people do exist.

Offroading in the Canyons

2008-05-26T00:23:00.000-07:00

What a nice trip this has been so far. Friends, food, drinks.. sigh...

So we are all at S's place in Phoenix, AZ. N is being pampered and there's somebody to play with her all the time. She seems to be enjoying the trip as much as any of us.

We all went on trip to Sedona, Canyon Country. Amazing scenery - and awesome place for the adrenalin seekers.

Went on a Jeep trip - would not have believed that a Jeep could go over rocks so easily. A pic to capture the happy moment.

N is a fighter

2008-05-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

I discovered this the other day at the day care. I went to pick up N one day evening- from the Toddler class (yes,she has graduated from Infant class to Toddler). As I was collecting N's jacket and bag, her teacher casually remarks "N beat a kid in class today". I was not quite sure how to react. My first reaction was to laugh out loud - I was imagining the scene,and could not help but find it funny for a one year old to try to whack another kid. Now there are folks who will chastise me for this - I should be teaching her manners etc etc. I have only one defense - I would have found it equally funny if another kid was hitting N. Anyway, I had enough sense to ask the teacher why? Apparently the other kid was taking N's food - so she had to whack her! What else could she do-I think there is nothing my little baby hates more than having food taken away from her.

Now I can rest assured that she will survive in thisdog eat dog world. I am not sure about her manners though!

Its HOT in Seattle

2008-05-18T16:17:00.000-07:00

And I am hotter! So says N - so what if the sunglasses are a few sizes too big - they still look hep, dont they?

The last 3 days were HOT - temperatures went upto 90F ( thats about 32 C I think, I had to open up calc and think of conversion formulae even after 3 years of being in the US). Thats an interesting thought - why do I still think in Celcius, Kgs and Kms? When somebody tells me the temperature is 90 deg, I am like -ya, thats hot! But do I have any inkling what that really means? You bet I don't - so somewhere in the background my mind is racing to do the calculations so that I can make the right social response.

Anyway, back to the heat in Seattle. It is so hot that we are all wearing shorts - and there is a crowd near every water body available. Since SEattle has no dearth of water bodies, no fear of not finding a spot. One of the things Ilove about this city - parks and waterbodies abound. Once the sun comes out, no place likethis.

We got up early today, played tennis at greenLake - followed by Ultimate Frisbee. That was fun. As usual, my cheeks are red and sunburnt. N enjoyed playing in the grass. Sujeet (hep hep Sujeet) had new sunglasses - and N stole them from him. She's rocking in them.

What a great day! If every day waslike this, well, life would have been justperfect.

My Mother's Day Blog - a Day Late

2008-05-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

I am not a person given to thinking about "Days" - it seems too much like selling out - to commercialization . But when Mother's day arrived - what did I do? I kept telling AppaPappa Noyonika wants to get me a mother's day gift, she really does.. until he actually went and got me a lovely pair of earrings and beautiful bangles. What I will do for gifts!!

Noyonika made me a card wishing me for Mother's day.

I remembered the cake I baked for my Ma last mother's day when I was in Guwahati. I posted about this on that day.

Sigh.. she's so far away this time. I was jealous of my neighbours - they'd come to wish me and got me a lovely potted plant, and had to leave in a hurry as they were visiting their Mom. Why do we have to stay so from our parents - is it worth being so far away from family? Appa pappa and I are having such existential questions these days.

Oh no, this is quickly turning into a blog about something other than Mother's Day. Or maybe not. If Mother's Day is to celebrate Ma's and Moms and Mother's and Maters and Mommys then can I be blamed if my thinking goes to my own Ma and how far we are from her?

Jet lag is not good - vacation at home is good!

2008-04-28T22:29:00.000-07:00

We're back from our trip to India - and what a trip it has been. With all my aunts trying to out-do each other taking care of N, Appa and I just vegetated in Guwahati. Ate huge quantities of food, and did not even have the decency to do some walking around for digestion. The heat daze also helped keep us lying flat on our beds for most of the day - venturing in the evenings to CCD ( we used to call it Cafe Coffee Day, but thats not cool I heard :-) .

The little sis was happy - she got plenty of time to spend with N. She organized the loudest Bday celebration ever for N in Ghy. My Dad of all people made the biggest commotion with the foam gun ( or whatever that thing that you shoot that lets out foam at parties is called). Ma worked so hard getting the party together. As Appa often says : "I dont know how your Mom gave birth to two lazee donkies like you and your sis" the contrast in our ability to work hard so apparent.

Goa was great too - nice resort vacation with the in-laws. FIL has turned 70 ( our splurging on a 5- star resort due to this occasion), and he looks fit and good. God keep him that way for a long time.

Bombay was hot - but worth it due to the good food. Unlimited skewers of barbecue after a 2hr drive and a 45 min wait - but still worth it. Great vada pavs - fantastic Indian food atKhyber. Awesome Gujju thalis, the best ofwhich we had in, of all places, Goa!

All in all, could not have asked for a better vacation. The jet lag is not too hot though, neither is the travel ( yucks! ). More on the travel some other time.

Memories of a time-sibling

2008-04-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

A good blogger (like any artist) tries to capture life truthfully. In this effort, the bloggers honest memory usually serves as a poor servant:

"Memories are milestones
But the magic of life is made
In the mundane moments
'Tween the markers in our mind."

So when Notunma asked me to write about the time leading up to Noyonika being born exactly a year ago (wow, is it 1 year already?!), I was in a fix. It was too hard a task for me to perform.

I could write about my most vivid memory - sometime in Dec '06, when we did the ultrasound and my heart stuck in my throat when I saw the picture of that little baby curled up and sucking her thumb (just the way she does even today).

I could write about K leaving the US for India on Feb 17th last year, and my restlessness and melancholy afterward, till my getting to Guwahati on Apr 7th and being ridiculed for being "beefy" - I had taken to weights to beat blues; I guess I had been a bit too restless!

I could write about the morning of the 8th, when we ate poori & chhole at K's aunt's house, and K telling me that her stomach was hurting, she'd eaten too much.

I could write about the tension of having to switch Doctor's on the morning of the 8th and the 4 hours that crawled by till we heard a wail from inside the O.T.

I could write about my looking around, dull-headed and dim-witted, when the nurse stepped out with a bundle in her arms and said "Father kaun hai?" (& of dearest Shahana, being right there next to me to push me forward!)

However, none of these events seen individually communicate how I (or K) felt before Noyonika was born. Nor do they, when strung together like beads, capture accurately time leading up to Noyonika's birth.

The reason that it's so hard writing about the time leading up to Noyonika's birth is that while I may document each event as honestly as I can, my memories of before Noyonika are a falsehood - they are the memories that belong to a different person, who just happens to have the same writing style as me.

"Time-siblings
Created at birth
Of another."

There are a few events in ones life that are truly life-changing, that add a new dimension to life that you couldn't have understood before the event and can't explain with words after.

Now, whenever K runs up the stairs at 90 miles an hour at an imagined sound from a fast-asleep Noyonika, I grin to myself - this isn't the woman I married, but no worries, life's good.

Vada pav deprived

2008-04-06T02:12:00.001-07:00

We are in Mumbai after a 26 hour journey. And was it tiring!
Anyway, I am glad to be among family.

My only crib - I have not been allowed to eat at the roadside stalls.. and I am so vada-pav deprived. Those tastee pieces of bread dripping in butter with a big fat bonda nestling inside. And a green chilly for the punch!! Oooohhh... will wait another day for the stomach to settle, and then..

Okay, actually, I have another crib. I lost my voice - yes, thats right, my voice. So am talking in whispers. People are making fun of me - but i'm not taking any chances here. Got to get my own voice back ( that was literal, not metaphorical)!

Meanwhile,we are preparing for N's first Bday party. Its exciting!!

Nice photo of the family

2008-03-31T23:47:00.000-07:00

We went to see the cherry blossoms at Univ of Washington. Friend of mine clicked some candid pics of us.

I Love Spring

2008-03-23T17:08:00.000-07:00

The spectacular change of season inspired me to go on many walks through my neighbourhood. Photos of spring in my neighbourhood in Kirkland, Washington.

Same time last year: St. Mary's English High School

2008-03-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

This is the second of the series of posts I plan - leading upto N's birthday.

This time last year I am at my parent's house in Kharghuli, Guwahati. In the state of Assam in the North East corner of India. At the house my father named "Rupajali". I grew up in this house - leaving finally at the age of 18 for my college education. Since then, I have come back sporadically, once or twice a year, staying for a few weeks at most. So this time was different - I was not a visitor, I was actually living in Guwahati.

It is a very strange feeling to go back as an adult to the place where you had mostly lived as a child/teenager. In many different ways.

As I drive from my house to my school (St. Mary's English High School) , Ismile at the thought that once that distance had seemed so enormous. (It is only a mile). I remember walking home from school with my Best Friend Shelley when I missed the school bus - chatting happily, glaring at the boys who dared to tease us, stealing gooseberries from people's houses.

And my school? Dear old St Mary's English High School! The school is same as ever, with the statue of Mother Mary dominating the front. The same old green gates- jealously guarded by the Salesian sisters in their white habits. How could it have stayed so still in time, I wonder?

The school has no room to grow - surrounded as it is by a busy road and buildings on all sides, but they have managed to add a new wing I notice. We had a basketball court in our school - for some strange reason it was called "Boys Playground" - I think it was from thetime when the school was co-ed. Anyway, I always thought of the boys playground as our (mine and my close group of friends) territory. We were the active kinds in school, playing basketball, and Kho-Kho in all our free time, and boys playground was our hang-out. Oh, how I loved that place. For Gods sake, I used to sweep the entire court after a downpour so we could have a good game.

On my way into theschool, I met a few of my teachers. Of course no one recognised me, and when I introduced myself there were many exclamations of surprise. None of the teachers had changed, they hadgrown older and hadgrayhair, but apart fromthat, frozen in time it seemed. As was "Deka Sir". Deka means "Young" in Assamese - he was ( maybe still is) one of the two male teachers in theschool. He was our favorite, and we were his. To this day, when I meet him, he remembers Kanchuki and Shelley.

The school is full of memories I have about my best friend Shelley Brahma. The sporty, tough Bodo girl who I somehow befriended in Nursery and who was my best friend till I left school. Shelley, who would do anything for me - she used to tie my shoelaces even, because "Kancha" (thats what she called me) did not know how to! She and I had the time of our lives in school I thought. We were never the rules breaking rebel kind - somehow we were very happy and content with our innumerable games, and with talking happily for hours. I still remember some of the songs she taught me - in Bodo language. Bagorumba - for one. I am sometimes amazed at how or why I still remember most of it.

I enter into the classrooms. It is the school annual exhibition today. Earnest students in immaculate uniforms explainingtheir projects to whoever passes by. I feel like I amthrown back in time to the year 1993 - my final year in school. I am the girl in the uniform, explaining to every person willing to hear how the "Observatory" works. I can see Shelley making the large dome for the observatory, heck, I can even smell the fevicol as she and I work to glue the silver aluminium foil onto thewire frame she has just made.

I go to the "Boys Playground" - disappointment - the basketball court is gone. ButI am cheered up - I can see Deka Sir there. I quietly observe him - the Girl Guildes have made a rope bridge and he is helping them demonstrate it. I get a sudden vision of all my friends hanging out under the tree - Smita, Babita, Palla Bora, Palla Bhatta, Shyla Varghese,Gurdeep Kaur. They are all there, in a circle, chatting. I cannot hear what they are talking about though.

I come back home. Longing for those simple days in school - when whether the basketball court would be dry or not was the biggest thought in my mind!

Same time last year: Part 1

2008-03-16T20:03:00.000-07:00

This time last year, I was a heavily pregnant woman, walking about the hills of Kharghuli, Guwahati at my parents home. I was pampered and plump :-) And I had only myself to take care of. I had 4 weeks to go for my delivery date.

The days were filled with visits to relatives & friends, or visits from relatives and friends. My father was building a new house, and I was trying to coax & cajole him into doing it the way I wanted it to come up.

What else was I doing? Oh yes - getting to know ( or know again) all my little cousins, who - surprise, surprise, were not so little any more. No, they were all grown up teenagers, very different from the cuddly little kids I remembered them as. Some of them burdened with board exams and tests. I was trying to teach them the few things I know - like computers.

Umm.. what else did I do? I must have read - ah yes, I read Shantaram. Good long book that took me a while to read as I was too lazy to do much, even reading.

Now I am getting nostalgic. What a great time I had for almost a full month and a half - nothing but eating, sleeping and reading at my parent's house. What more could I want? I am so glad I went back to India. Today when I think back I actually have very good memories of the time I spent back home. Would it have been the same if I had been in the US? Most decidedly not, I woudl have been working till the very last day, tired and waiting for the day to arrive, and not really enjoying much the last few weeks of waiting. Again, glad I gave myself the break.

To school or not to school

2008-03-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting discussion with my friends today. It was about formal schooling, and how we felt about it. I am glad that the discussion is still theoretical for me - it will be a few years before N is of school going age.

I'm one of those - topper through school type of person. The one who knew all the right answers to the questions the teachers asked. The one who got the highest marks, and the best grades. And today, I am a big sceptic of the formal school system.

I guess the question is: What does formal schooling contribute to a child's development? Does it help him or her somehow be better equipped for the world?

I would argue not. The biggest problem I have with school system is this: It leads kids to believe that the world is black and white, that everything has a right answer and just knowing that right answer is the key to everything. How deceitful that is!! Instead of teaching our kids good judgement, values and developing their individual personality, we teach them facts. Facts that we tell them are irrefutable..

Is that what I want N to learn? I think not.. to be continued..

The first tooth has arrived

2008-03-05T22:58:00.000-08:00

What excitement - unfortunate that appapappa is away on a business trip.
I was trying to extract yet another bit of god knows what from N's mouth - when I felt something sharp and jagged against my finger. And what do I find? A little tooth. I called up appapappa to share the news - he did not believe me. How can I make the discovery after all??

So my baby will not be chewing with her gums the rest of her life, unlike what her parents had suspected!!

I have to say though not having teeth has not deterred N a bit from chewing her way through every kind of food - pizza, toast, idlis.. you name it. Today she pilfered a parle-G biscuit from a biscuit jar when nobody was looking. A regular little thief she is becoming :-)

Here's a picture of her eating pieces of bananas all by herself.

Look who's getting bratty

2008-02-09T11:37:00.000-08:00

N trying to brush her non-existent teeth..

N clambers up the stairs

2008-02-06T22:45:00.000-08:00

I know this one calls for a pic - I'm such an idiot. N actually started going up the stairs today, encouraged by Appapappa. He left her at the bottom of the stairs, I was the bait at the top, and then we both watched as she scrambled over one step and then the other. Oh god, now I've got to watch the stairs too!! I'm such a paranoid Mom, I think secretly. Every time N does something new - i enjoy it, and at the same time I am thinking, now that she has learnt this new thing it can harm her in so and so way and i have to watch out more etc. etc.

A colleague in office, father of two, commented today - your worries for your kids never go away. They just change. How true.

Here's to a lifetime of it.

In fond memory of Eating Out

2008-02-05T21:49:00.000-08:00

Appapappa and I - hopefully waiting outside the Italian restaurant to get a table. Holding our breath that N will be quiet for maybe half hour while we can sneak in dinner.

N squeals, kicks, screams. The waiter trying to seat us politely inform us that the table would take another 10 minutes. I have visions of N squealing at the table, us getting funny glances from everybody in the restaurant. We beat a hasty retreat.

To another restaurant across the parking lot - an Indian restaurant where I have seen bawling kids in the past. At least there would be other parents so the glares can be divided among all of us.

N still squeals, kicks and screams. A half eaten dosa and barely touched plate of Pongal - and we are ready to pack up and leave.

I vow never again!!But I know I will be back to try once more - who knows, we may have a lucky day.

When N is unwell

2008-02-04T18:40:00.000-08:00

N has been unwell for 10 days now. Started with a bad cough and throwing up. Appapappa was paranoid, but me the pragmatic said - it must be the phlegm thats causing her to throw up. Proven wrong! She has the stomach flu - runny bowel movement,and vomiting. Nothing much to do but wait it out seems to be the advice. Its easier said than done. Poor N seems quite tired - I am trying to keep feeding her to keep up her strength and to prevent any dehydration.

Last week was very tough for all of us. Since N could not go to daycare, I was taking care of her at home. She wanted to be held - so here I was,trying to balance her on my hip, and calling in to conference calls in office.I can tell you I did not enjoy it one bit.

It sure is tough taking care of a little baby- when she is unwell, its even harder. On days like this, I wish I had some help around the house.

Today Appapappa is unwell too. He fears he may also have got the bug.I hope not!!

N in her new knitted sweaters

2008-01-27T22:01:00.000-08:00

Isn't she lucky? Her grandmom sent her lovely sets of sweaters - socks - hats.. she's so cute in them. Here's a photo of her in the white set ( Grandma made it from wool she bought here in the US).

Hawaii trip with N

2007-12-18T21:41:00.000-08:00

We did it - we had a great vacation, with our baby!! YOU ARE TAKING YOUR BABY ALONG TO HAWAII!! THATS BRAVE - this was the standard reaction of people in office when we talked about our upcoming trip. Led me to think me and my husband were attempting something more ambitious like a trip to the Antartic or something..

Anyway, we made sure we packed all the milk bottles and bottle warmers and kettle to heat the water etc etc and we were all set. No mishaps, but a few embarrassing / tough moments recorded here to come back and laugh at later:

Borrowing diapers from another couple with a baby ( we forgot to pack diapers in the midst of the excitement of planning a hike to the most gorgeous valley - promised by the guidebook!)

Being stranded at a bus stand in the rain in Honolulu waiting / hoping for a bus to get us back to the airport. We made a foolish decision - decided to kill the 5 hours of layover time by roaming around the city in local buses.

Plane ride back where baby was cranky as she was unable to sleep and settle down.

Yes, thats all. Not too many, is it?

Highlights to remember:

Snorkelling in the bluest waters - swimming with turtles and some amazing varieties of fish with the most wonderful colors ( taking turns snorkelling while the other watched the baby)

Rainbow into the sea and volcano craters

Most wonderful beach - white sands and blue/turqiose waters

Feeding N icecream - she loved it!

Long drives and conversations with husband in a relaxed mood :-)

Meeting a 92 year old woman who runs her own B&B - a wonderful woman with a great sense of humor

Spending day after day with N watching her as she crawled, stood, laughed, shrieked, giggled

Memories

2007-08-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

There are some memories that are so precious you know you dont ever want to lose them. You want to string them and wear them and keep them next to you - so they are right there and with you always..

Like memories of the day when the daughter was born and I heard her cry for the first time.
Like memories of the first day she turned over on her tummy.
Like memories of the way she used to look like a little mouse when she was tiny.
Like the way the clothes used to hang on her as she was too small.
Like how her aunt sniffed at her baby smell all day long secretly.
Like how me and her Dad talked late into the night since we knew we wouldnt get to sleep anyway.
LIke how she smiles when she sees the magnets on the fridge.
Like how she talks to her grandmom and laughs with joy when she sees her.

Like...

First day at work

2007-07-31T00:51:00.000-07:00

Notunma is back to work. It was my first full day at office today. I was a bad Mom - forgot to leave the formula at home - got a call from my Mom in the middle of a meeting that my daughter is hungry and has nothing to eat! So I abruptly end meeting and come home in the afternoon to feed her - was secretly glad to see her during the day.

I've been thinking about how I can do justice to my work and spend enough *relaxed* time with my husband and my daughter. Next few days will be spent plotting this.

Few things I have thought to myself should help:
Set up an environment so that when I am in office I can actually work without having to worry about my baby's well being. Will blog more later on how I am trying to make this happen.
Set up priority - which is basically my husband, my daughter and then my work. So I know what I need to do when there are simulateneous demands.
Be honest in office. It becomes easy to put in less hours of work and rush back to family. But be honest and spend the time needed to do the best quality of work at the standards you have set for yourself.
Set up expectations at office about when I am available and when I am not. So nobody can crib later.
Minimise time wasted in office in ineffective meetings - I realized when I went back after a gap that there is a lot of this happenning.
Dont minimise time spent in getting to know people at office. What made me welcome when I went back to office were the greetings I got from people! Again, it is easy to cut down on the coffee breaks with co workers and lunch outings - in order to get work done and rush home. Dont get into the rush syndrome!

Whew! Thats a lot of things I am setting out to do. More later.

Colic - and new parents shudder

2007-06-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

My daughter is colic. I discovered that word from the Bible for new parents - "What to Expect in the FIrst year".

This means that almost everyday she cries for no known reason for an hour or more. Reasons for colic are not certain - causes could be gas, over excitement, stress.. I think my daughter is colic because of gas. She writhes and stretches out her body as though in spasms - and cries continously. No amount of comforting helps. I spoke to docs and consulted books - it seems one just has to live with it. Meanwhile, one can try putting the baby on her tummy and things like that to relieve the gas. Has not helped my baby though.

I'm hoping she will be okay once she gets older. One thing I have experienced as a new mom - one gets used to all kinds of things, including a howling baby. Yes, I still want to tear my hair out on certain days, and cry myself when I see and feel my baby being in pain, but those days are not very frequent nowadays.

Meanwhile, I wonder whether tonight will be a quiet one?

Sad - Am far from Appa

2007-06-21T11:08:00.000-07:00

Was travelling from Mumbai to Seattle with Xunjoni and Ma. Was so excited to meet Appa after a month and half of being apart. Wanted to see his reaction to X having grown up a little bit more and being so different since when he left when she was less than a month old.

My bag was stolen outside the Mumbai internation airport.It had my passport and visa. I could not travel.

I came back to Guwahati to get all the documents again. Can take upto a month or more. I'm sad to be far from Appa for so long. I know he is missing me and X a lot, he is lonely and that makes me even more sad.

Terrifying bomb blast

2007-05-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

There was a bomb blast outside the office of the doctor I'd written about in my previous post. This is the 9th bomb blast in 2 months in Guwahati. This one was particularly powerful, 6 people died and close to 40 injured. There were gruesome images in the media. I shudder to think that we were at that very place two weeks back. People are now avoiding the crowded market places and commercial areas. Its like the Guwahati in the 90's. Terror in people's hearts, except this time the people want peace and nobody wants to be liberated anymore.

Experiences outside a "baby doctors" office in Ghy

2007-05-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

A crowded street in the middle of a market known as Fancy Market in Guwahati. Fancy is the corrupted version - used to be "Faasi" meaning "death by hanging", which is what used to happen at the place long ago.

The area is full of godowns where Guwahati's groceries, clothing and what name you pass through. Full of trucks full of goods.

The docs office is through a pharmacy on a crowded street. Nearby are shops selling clothes, grocery, auto parts, you name it.

I get a small card with a number 8 on it. Wait my turn outside the docs office on the first floor. Outside, 7 marwari kids with parents wait. The doc is a Marwari.

Doc calls out the numbers one by one. Interesting to look at the kids. There is a year old girl with kohl lined bright eyes, payal on her tiny ankles, huge black bindi to ward off the evil eye.

A 2 year old precocious kid. Howls when entering the docs office, holds on to the door and refuses to enter. Almost drags everybody out of the office. Somehow comes out smiling.

Our turn to enter. Doc is wearing a small teddy bear on his stethoscope. Very cute. Good for entertaining kids.

Baby gets examined, all okay says Doc. I voice the thousands of concerns I have. None of which seem to be justified. They are all the this-is-what-life-with-kids-is-about variety.

All well, get back home happy with Baby in arms.

mother's day cake for my mother

2007-05-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

Circumstances being different I may have forgotten this day. But hey, I am a New Mom.. and being a new Mom I can kind of guess the trouble my Mom must have gone through to bring us up. I felt like doing something special for her.. going out to buy something was difficult what with Xunjoni being awake. So I baked a simple cake for her.. I think she liked it. See the grin on her face :-)

38 infants die in Kerala hospital due to unhygienic conditions

2007-05-11T05:32:00.000-07:00

A news item appeared a few days back - 38 infants have died in hospital in Kerala due to unhygienic conditions.

The Kerala CM makes the claim that these reports are baseless. His logic, people are still coming to hospital for delivery, so that proves that the conditions in the hospital are hygienic.

As a new Mom, the images of the little infants dead in the hospital was haunting. The CM's claim left me outraged. I feel strongly for the parents who had to deal with the loss of their child, and then the apathy of the govt.

A panel has been created to review the reason for the deaths. As with all other panels, this one too will file a report that will probably go unnoticed..meanwhile, the loss of a newborn will always be with the parents, whatever the panel report is.

Noyonika is whole of 1 month

2007-05-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

We had a "Naam" at my parents house for Noyonika's one month celebrations. Naam is an integral part of traditional Assamese Vaishnavaite culture, made popular by Srimanta Sankardeva.

The Naam at our house was sung by 25 Gopinis, women who sing the Naam to the accompaniment of a "Nagara" or a set of twin drums, and Taal ( cymbals).

Noyonika loved the Naam, she seemed to listen intently to the devotional songs and music.

Interesting ritual: The Gopinis held Noyonika, and asked us to "buy" her back from them. Ma had to pay up to get her granddaughter back!

A rose by any other name ..

2007-05-03T00:33:00.000-07:00

Thus sayeth Shakespeare.

We don't agree of course. We here refers to the legion of new parents who are going through the agony of picking a name for their very special newborn. Imagining somehow that this name will be the deciding factor for their future. Agonising over whether to go ethnic ( Sanskrit names are very popular these days), international ( Greek, Romanian, Italian, you name it), very local ( Gauri-like), or very practical ( names that people the world over can pronounce, a task virtually impossible).

When my daughter was born the choice of proposed names flew swiftly and smoothly - I ignored most of them. The variety of names could vie with Baskin-Robbins flavors. In fact some of them got dangerously close to food fantasies. For example, Tiramisu ( suggested by my husband and a deranged friend). I shuddered imagining the jibes my daughter would be subject to in the future. Then there were the names suggested by the grandfather - hearkening back to an era gone by. Names included "Tokapiaram" - the same deranged friend put the nail in the coffin on this one remarking that it sounded like a dhobi's ( washerman) name. There were others that were highly religious names after the pantheons of Hindu Gods and goddesses.

We finally settled on the name Noyonika, meaning expressive eyes. Which is ironic, as she looks like she may resemble her Mom ( who has Oriental eyes, that are far from being expressive). We have to wait and watch.

Meanwhile, we call her Xunjoni at home. It is an Assamese name. It means Golden Girl. So far she has justified the name by being the reigning queen of our house.

The importance of being Ignorant

2007-04-28T08:57:00.000-07:00

I loved it when my baby smiled a gummy toothless smile after her feed. A look of absolute contentment on her face.. she looked angelic in her bliss.

And then I gained knowledge. I have nothing against knowledge in the regular scheme of things.. after all, my profession is based on it. But in this case, knowledge was not what i wanted or needed.

Apparently, baby smiles are not really smiles at all. Rather, they are the result of excess gas in the babies stomach, or so informed me the babycare book, What to Expect the first year, http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-First-Arlene-Eisenberg/dp/0894805770 I was consulting.

I would have dearly preferred not to have known this little tit bit of information. And kept on being in paradise imagining that the baby smile was being flashed just for me! Sometimes ignorance really is bliss..

New reserves of patience discovered

2007-04-24T01:37:00.000-07:00

I am not a patient person... or so I thought. Till my little daughter was born 15 days ago. And lo and behold. Unknown reserves of patience were discovered - maybe waiting for her to come along and need and demand those reserves.

I wondered while I was pregnant and before if I would be upto the demands of motherhood. My only reason to believe that maybe I just might were the vast number of women who have managed it. If others can, I can too was my not very logical rationale.

After 15 days of motherhood( not a lot, I know, but you can count that as 30 since there are no nights here to sleep in!) I feel a wee bit more confident.

I am not dying with restlessness. ( yes, occasionally I feel like getting some fresh air, but I dont want to pack my bags and go hike in the nearby mountains). I am not missing any parties, or grudging other folks their outings. And I do not feel like throwing the baby out of the window yet. That should count as something. Yes, the constant and unchanging routine of feeding, changing, cleaning and now repeat that all over again is tiresome. But so far it has not worn me down.

Some credit to the "partner in crime" or the husband. As he says, "Life is long, and there are different things to be enjoyed at different times." Very weirdly, suddenly a line from Tintin comics, the one with the Incas, comes to mind - "Is no hurry, Senor, is no hurry"..

Xunjoni is born

2007-04-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

She is my daugther. And the reason for this blog spot. Right now, she's also the sole reason for my existence :-)
She is whole of 15 days old day. She's so small & tiny that she makes my heart full of happiness and pain at the same time.
I'm dedicating this blog to bringing her up!